


To Have and to Hold

by dandelion_clock



Series: Cry for the Moon [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelion_clock/pseuds/dandelion_clock
Summary: ‘You can’t own another person,’ Lily Potter once told Sirius. ‘It doesn’t work like that.’





	To Have and to Hold

'You can't own another person,' Lily Potter once told Sirius. 'It doesn't work like that.' 

It was one of those nights in the Potters' little sitting room, Sirius drunk, brokenhearted and rambling, in the short time between Remus leaving and James and Lily going into hiding. 

It's perfectly true, Sirius knows that, and also that he's possessive and paranoid. But it doesn't change the fact that he wants exclusive ownership, stamped and certified, of Remus Lupin. 

It was easier, in some ways, in Azkaban. Remus was just a memory then. An agonising tangle of hurt, longing and frustration, yes, but also safely in the past. Whereas present-day Remus is not only baffling and infuriating in himself, but also a living evidence that in-between Remus existed without Sirius for fourteen years. 

In-between Remus with his soft brown hair and forget-me-not eyes. With his shy smile and his narrow hips. 

It makes Sirius want to break things. 

Present-day Remus is a problem so huge that Sirius dedicates hours at a time to trying not to think about him. Not thinking about his too-thin frame, or his threadbare clothes, or the lines at the corners of his eyes. Not thinking about the complicated space between them, a space populated with years and deaths, with too-familiar arguments, with old resentments and regrets. 

Present-day Remus who still bites his lip when he's concentrating. Who still runs slim fingers idly along the margins of his book. Who falls asleep in the library sometimes, tucked in an armchair, dust-brown lashes brushing ghost-white cheeks. 

It's easier, in a way, to be jealous of the past. Of fourteen years' worth of other lovers, who Remus doesn't talk about. Other hands on his body, other voices murmuring his name, other lips touching his, or whispering sweet nothings against his skin. 

It's easier too to be jealous of little cousin Tonks. Cousin Tonks who once seemed so endearingly hapless, and has now taken to giving Remus soft, winning looks. Who, unacceptably, gets soft, winning looks _back._

So when Sirius pulls Remus into his arms for the first time in fourteen years, when he pushes him up against the wall and kisses him until his lips are bruised… 

He isn't thinking about anything, really. 

He's just claiming his property. 


End file.
